I feel horrible and tired, and just plain old sore. I just want to stay in my bed! I’m saying I want to, but really I need to. This getting up thing is beyond me, it’s not something I’m able to do. I tried to be upright I couldn’t, I failed and it hurt.
I’m just lying here feeling my joints as they’re aching, my body is throbbing and every bursa I own is on fire! My fascia and tendons are shortening and tightening until grrrrrr they just won’t uncurl…
Envisioning my body so old and contracted. The fatigue, lack of strength someone STOP this. It can’t be my life!
But, it is… damn disease, go to HELL.
When we’re one hot mess! How are we meant to remember that maybe the reverse is true?!
Every day will NOT be a bad day
When immersed in our pain we can’t see a way out. We feel hopeless and unable to cope. We wonder how we’ll manage for the rest of our lives. If it carries on like this, never ending; we won’t.
But RA ebbs and it flows, it honestly does. It’s not every day that it sucks! If we’re lucky at some point we remember it’s just our today (or this month). I’m trying to be real here.
Be gentle on yourself
as gentle this disease
When we cannot see ourselves feeling better than how horrible we feel right now. A part of us genuinely can’t do it because we’re not able. Feeling better takes energy and strength and for today, BOTH things don’t exist.
The reality is sometimes it’s not within our control.
Give yourself permission to feel like dirt, for today just suffer and rest
Take your meds, crawl into the tub (make sure someone is there to help you back out). Pull out your hot pack and turn on the fireplace and figure out how to pass the time until tomorrow. If tomorrow isn’t the day you feel better maybe the next tomorrow will be. Hang in there, I promise better days will come.